The power to touch anything that is touchable.

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the power to sell jars of bodily fluids for $25 each but get arressted shortly after

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The power to make your parents walk into your room whenever you're masturbating.

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The power to have every superpower ever (including pointless ones) for one second every full moon, then have every pointless one for the rest of the time.

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Ingesting caffeine gives you the power to be a normal, competent human being.

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The ability to fly but only for 5 seconds and when you are on an oily floor in tube socks being chased by 10 Puerto Rican woman.

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the power to do CALCULUS for homeless people you run into on the street.

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the power to go thru anything but get stuck in it

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The power to see in to the future of one second

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The power to possess every pointless superpower and be tasked with saving the world.

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The power to instantaneously teleport in front of your mom each time you masturbate.

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The power to have to enter a survey for every internet download you use

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The ability to breathe automatically

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The ability to teleport less than 1 inch once a day

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The power to enjoy eating potatoes slightly more

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How 'bout the power to move you? - Wonderboy

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The power to piss your pants each time you feel threatened.

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The power to move objects by touching them.

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the power make the left half of your body invisible.

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The power to be the most attractive person ever but only in complete darkness.

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The power of trolling your self

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Radiation resistance inversely proportional to the amount of radiation around you.

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The power to give epilepsy to hamsters.

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The power to enlarge your penis but only when you use a penis pump.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!