power to breathe

thumb_up thumb_down +43

the ability to take a fart that other people can actually see.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

The power to fail hard at the catchphra (or whatever its called) simply because you keep answering garbage when it asks "what is the jummiest!" Moral: I work out hard dammit! I want muscles of steel! And Bananasplit contains banana (duh) which just binds fat and makes me look like a bodybuilder... (yes I did look like that and would eat garbage rather than banana, I mean most "family restaurant" foo out there is garbage) "Family restaurant" guide, because moral man loves you: Mc Donalds, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Burger King, and I really need fats and proteins to work out as hard as I do... I mean I am running on a uh.. stand still training bicycle thingie... too tired to look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

The power to shoot string cheese out of your fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

The power of being able to fly, but only on February 30th.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

the ability to turn on lamps but you have to be touching them

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Being able to shapeshift into a grandpa then not being able to turn back until next year

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Reverse Pooping

thumb_up thumb_down +27

The ability to have every pointless superpower then, now, and in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

The power to die at any moment you want.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The power to smell everyone's crap from anywhere you go

thumb_up thumb_down +17

The power that, eveything you touch turns into whatever it already was

thumb_up thumb_down +17

The power to sneeze scissors

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The power to walk over crisp packets 25% more quietly than the average person

thumb_up thumb_down +7

the power to make youtube videos buffer twice as fast on your iPhone.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The pointless super power of take a shit in your own mouth!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The power too be a professonal hacker but a kid could delete it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The power to speak to mexicans in german

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The power to jizz mango chutney

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The power to never be hungry for five minutes after you eat.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The power to not finish your....

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The ability to catch anything on fire, but only if it is already on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Teh pewer too dissablee speeltjeck Mortal: KOMBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

The power to die whenever you want.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!