The power to have 99 problems, except your dog... if she is female.

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The power to be fireproof under water

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The power to become perfect. Perfect: There can be only one moral man.

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Be virtually indestructible, but only to things your not paying attention too.

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The power to control Rollie pollies

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The power to shift baroque and rococo era paintings proximately 2" up and 3" to the left.

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the power to make bubles without soap

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the power to finish your plate of veggies when ever you like.

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Third armpit.

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The ability to perceive the presence of light.... with your ears. (warning, blindness may effect abilities potency.)

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the power to fax people with your mind

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The power to remove all flavour from food.

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The power of dying whenever you want.

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The power to jump higher than a speeding bullet and run faster than a tall building.

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the power to have access to unlimited porn but your parents never leave the room

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The power to shoot billions of neutrinos from your hands at an enemy.

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The ability to teleport 1 step forward at will at a walking pace.

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The power to turn on your tv with your mind as long as the remote is in your hand and has batteries.

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The power to give onesself a heart attack just by thinking about it.

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The power to count exactly how many babies under the age of three weeks existed in the last 14 seconds.

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the ability to kill yourself... twice

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Shoppers today in the mattress department we just started a great promotion.

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The power to hold your breath forever, but only in a hot-tub.

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the power to undress yourself at a slower rate then others

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!