The power to turn shades of brown or red, but only when exposed to the sun for an extended amount of time.

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the power to do two suicide bombings

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The power to know what someone thought, after they told you.

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the power to make your nipples taste like shit and your shit taste like nipples

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the power to write about pointless super powers in universes that nothing exists.

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The power to expel a slight breeze after inhaling.

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The power to scare female plants.

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the ability bend your legs in a perfect circle

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the power to freeze people only when it's cold

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Will i tell you the joke about the butter? Aww no you'll only spread it!

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the power to write amazingly neat but only with invisible ink

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The ability to sit down without using any other body part than your butt.

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The power throw up hockey pucks every few minutes.

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the power to use "YOLO" as an excuse to do retarded things

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The power to think of powers someone else has already come up with

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The power to become retarded but your so stupid you forget how to turn it off

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The power of telepathy but only when you alone

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The power to quote Castlevania quotes all day... yelling them out on the streets! Moral: WHAT IS A MAN! People look at me and laugh... and moral man struts past... he has never been so awesome before... They see me rollin... they laughing... they lovin... and I hope nobody calls the ambulance because I am crazy... in love... I can see it in your eyes... I can see it in your smiiileeee...

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The power to eat as many ice cubes as you want without getting a brain freeze.

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The power to travel time at 60 seconds a minute

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the power to not have super powers...

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The power to eat food, unless you're touching food.

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The power to make cats ask for cheeseburgers in comically broken English

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The power to look at someone and imaginatively initiate intercourse in the most unreasonable way possible.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!