the ability to talk like Bill Cosby

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The ability to get aids and stay a virgin.

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the ability to be in a video game sold in Africa

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The power to solve every problem in the world. By dying.

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The power to make grass grow at double the speed.

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The power to touch anything that is touchable.

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the power to pre-tend your a animal ...

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the power to add .1 mile to the odometer of nearby vehicles

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The power to time travel to the end of the world.

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the power to talk to fish but only if their belly up

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The power to die using your willpower.

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The power to have your toe nails and fingernails be bulletproof.

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The power to give your wife rights

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The power to change the channel of the television every 2 hours.

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The ability to do a backflip on a trampoline, but only if you are picking your nose and eating a carrot at the same time

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The power to lock open doors

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The power to turn jelly into peanut butter, but only in quantities of 17 gallons.

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Endless falling....

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The power to fail hard at the catchphra (or whatever its called) simply because you keep answering garbage when it asks "what is the jummiest!" Moral: I work out hard dammit! I want muscles of steel! And Bananasplit contains banana (duh) which just binds fat and makes me look like a bodybuilder... (yes I did look like that and would eat garbage rather than banana, I mean most "family restaurant" foo out there is garbage) "Family restaurant" guide, because moral man loves you: Mc Donalds, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Burger King, and I really need fats and proteins to work out as hard as I do... I mean I am running on a uh.. stand still training bicycle thingie... too tired to look it up.

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The power to read minds, but only that of someone who is watching Twilight.

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the power of the Anti-petter gun, which fires bullshit over the moon.

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The power to change place with any famous boxer everytime he gets hit. Moral: Hate me, love me... in the end you cannot hate what you do not care about do you? Remember this, when someone hates you, its simply because they care and worry about you... probably the only moral that makes sense... life is beautiful, thank you haters, thank you lovers, and you know what they say... haters gonna hate... they are all just a fluffy bunch of people that care too much :)

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The power to always smell like cheep wine.

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The power to cure a ham

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!