The power to turn your external hearing off, only to replace it with the sound of very, very slow internal dubstep.

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The ability to never have to take a shit again

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the ability to make real zero dollar bills

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The power to take a pill without drinking anything.

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The ability to go to the time and place where you are going to die.

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The power to chew on chicken heads without breaking your teeth.

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the power to travel to parallel universes where the power to travel to parallel universes doesnt exist

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The power to vote for donald trump #FeelTheBern

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the power to poop out cactuses when no toilets are in a hour drive length away

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the power to only eat sugar, but not things that tastes sweet.

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The power to write stupid and unintelligent messages that have no purpose or aim whatsoever.

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The ability to see into the past at variable times between 1 and 30 seconds but be incapable of seeing the present.

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The power to change skin color after being under the sun for too long.

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The power to teleport 10 years into the past just by sneezing. You also become hyper allergic to everything. And of course, you have no way to travel forward...

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The power to taste anything you look at, except for food. Nothing edible counts...

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The ability to find any lost pennies, as long as you're Jewish

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The power to bleed when your grandmother kisses you.

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The ability to give yourself brain cancer at will

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The power to be able to see through clothes, but only men over the age of 65.

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The power to read thoughts but it reads everyones thoughts at the same time and you can't decipher whose thought is whose

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The power to shapeshift, but only when below ground.

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The power of night vision only when you are carrying a flashlight that is turned on.

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The power to kick ass and chew bubblegum but be all out of kicks. "sits down chews bubblegum"

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the power to waste time doing stupid stuff like reading this.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!