The ability to spit mouthwash

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The power to be invulnerable while sleeping

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The power to fire lasers from my nipples.

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The power to turn into a lamp once.

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The power to have perfect vision, but only in pitch black darkness

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The power to click the left button of your mause, only by thinking of how you click it,while your finger is on the button.

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The power to move and run faster than anything slower than yourself.

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the power to defecate while standing up...

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Strength to instantly kill anyone just by lightly tapping them, as long as they're physically stronger than you.

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The power to see you're self in a mirror

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The power to see through glass

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the power of mind controlling...yourself

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the power to kill your self when you are not under any stress

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The power to let everyone around you make a troll face but you are the only one who is able too see it.

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The power to spit venom, but it misses 99.9% of the time.

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Ability to emit a low-level light, but only when standing near a candle.

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the power to be on fire always.(even when u are in water)

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The ability to give yourself a stroke just using your mind.

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The power to speak any language, but not understand them.

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The ability to walk slower than everyone else

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the power to make sounds by vibrating your vocal cords.

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The power to understand that if you type or read at this section, then it is probably because it means something to you... Moral: That is almost a superpower... I mean wow pointless makes a point which is pointless, and a pointless point with a point is... anyway I just divided by infinite loop. Cant say that is far away from zero which by itself is basically a circle... Damn im good! (just for that final line im gonna get thumbed down, its worth it though.

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The power to shut me the F UCK UP! Moral: Ironically I have not said a single word for hours... so that would be impossible... Now, if you hear MY voice when you read this, then you are either psychic or psychotic, which is not that different if you ask me... Now.. if you hear YOUR voice inside your head, then YOU SHUT THE FRUCK UP AND GET LOST! :D :D :D :D :D :D (A MoralMan Original, now this one was pretty cool)

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the ability to give a potato an orgasm

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!