The power to fuck your mum whenever you want

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The ability to kill anyone, only if he/she is your close friend.

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The power of omnipotence and omniscience but you work in such mysterious ways that youre both invisible and intangible and without will to do skwat. Oh wait that sounds like...

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The power to make your self drunk using only your mind, but only while your driving your kids to school

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The power to have all sensory input interpreted as pain

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the power to give yourself sunburn

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The power to permanently shorten your own penis

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the power to hold your breath 0.01 seconds longer than the average human

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The power to laught at Tyler Perry's House of Payne

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the power to talk to animals but only when it means stealing your ice cream

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the power to enter a coma.

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The power of women's rights.

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The power to use very big words but only when your at a retarted people convention

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The ability to die, when you say: "death powers activate!" . You can only do it once though.

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The power to summon your mom so you can prove she's not as fat as the chav in front of you is saying she is

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the ability to make a really long post ajsfffffhkshgdddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddfgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggjssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssa

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to be able to see through doors... only when there open

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the power to ejaculate 69% of what you normally do

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The power to no sweat in the cold.

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The power to be stupid reading this.

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The ability to turn into any non-living object, but not back.

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the superpower of making pointless and lame jokes for which no human laughs (except crazy ones and apes)

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you can shoot cars but the always hit you

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The power to pee, REALLY LOUD.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!