the power to cook sandwiches when married

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the ability to discern homophobic, racist, and mysoginistic posts on this site from the actually ok ones.. oh wait this is useful STOP BEING A JACKASS

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The power to perform incredible feats of strength and speed but only while on an elevator.

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the power to breathe in space but have to be were there is gravity

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The to ejaculate anytime but only when your mom appears in front of you.

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Brazilian waxing via telepathy.

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The power to fly but only when your eyes are closed.

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the power to have a pointless superpower

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The power to make up pointless superpowers

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the power to concentrate all the oil and grease in your body into one mega zit that you can pop at people, and possibly use as a propulsion system....if oily enough

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The power to vomit pizza and root beer chunks at will.

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A man with the power to make sandwiches.

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The power to die instantly from not reading books, meaning if you don't read books you'll die.

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The ability to make knifes out of your own feces.

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the power of shitting on your enemy at any tmie

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the power to send text messages while driving

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The power to make something slightly sticky. Like after you each a juicy piece of fruit. You make everything feel like that.

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The power to freeze laptops when you're watching porn and someone comes in.

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The power of turning butter into concrete.

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The power to escape reality by entering the magical land of skyrim via your PS3.

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The power to invent things as soon as you see them

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The power to fly but only in an airplane.

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The power to transform any food into shit simply by eating it.

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The power to control mealworms

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!