The power to turn into batman only after the bad guys left

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The power to see the past.

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The ability to make cheese, only edible to vegans, but only on leap days

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The power to see in the dark only when the lights are on

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The power to invent things as soon as you see them

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The power to read the future in a language you will never learn to understand. Moral: I read that "thy comment expects a billion red thumbs"... WTF does that mean?

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The power to cash cheques that are only ever made out to someone else.

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The power to turn cake into pie

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Normal handsome man by day. Moral: Man by night.

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The power to cum cucumbers if you are a man.

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The power to have your mother suck your dick dry as long as there is any sperm in your balls.

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To be immortal, but injuries do not heal and the pain is 100 times more intense

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The power to jizz mango chutney

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to make your bowel work backwards

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the power to randomly die at any moment

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The power to produce boogers that look and taste like caramel until you put them in your mouth...

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the power to kill yourself

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You might not GET super power, but you can get some super bonus. Get free rides with Lyft, (only new passengers). Use Lyft official code "IAMLUCKY" to get $50 up to $200 in ride credits. Now thats like a little superpower, you get to teleport from one place to other for free with Lyft. Get some super bonus until you really ever get a super power ;-)

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the power to predict the outcome of any event after it's already happened

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The power to have any nice guy, but they're all gay.

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The ability to have 99 problems without one of them being a female

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The ability to transform yourself in to a vibrator that is about to be used. Only works if you are gay.

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the powers to be a fat gassy woman

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The power think five times slower.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!